Saturday, November 12, 2016

"It's a Shame a Girl Like You..."

It's November, which means it's the beginning of get-togethers, gatherings, and meals with friends and family, you only see once a year.  For my single (I dislike that term, but we'll roll with it) girlfriends, we know what that means.  It's time for the yearly, inevitable question, "So, do you have a boyfriend, yet?"  This cues the response we gave them, last year (I, personally, choose to wait on the Lord and I believe His timing is perfect...this is usually met with a blank stare or a few rapid blinks). "Well, it's such a shame that a girl like you isn't married or at least has a boyfriend," they say.  These questions and responses come from well-meaning friends and family, but they imply that our achievement or position in life is tied to our relationship status and I have to agree, but they are talking about the wrong relationship.  :)  We live in a culture where 7 year olds are praised for having girlfriends or boyfriends and a society that evaluates you by your Facebook relationship status, so it's odd to most when teens and 20-somethings choose to wait on the Lord and not date for recreation.  I'm a huge proponent of Godly marriages and relationships and I look forward to the day that this will come to fruition, in my life (believe me, I love a good, God-honoring relationship story...ahhhh), but the ultimate relationship status is our one with the Lord (even after we are married).  A season of singleness isn't a time to be looked down upon, pitied or to be noted as a less-than moment. On the contrary, it can be a beautiful time that brings glory to our Father (just like all seasons of life).  So, instead of focusing on your single friends' relationship standing, this holiday season, I have a few suggestions on comments you can make that will offer encouragement...

Compliment them on an area in which you see them serving the Lord... 
-"It's such a blessing to watch you serve the Lord in..." 
-"Your dedication to honoring the Lord, in every aspect of your life, is beautiful to see."  

Be interested in what they are doing, here and now...
-"How's life?"
-"What are you up to?"

If you see something in their life, that will indeed bless their future families, then by all means, offer them a compliment in a genuine and positive way.  
-"I know ______ will bless your future husband and family, some day."  
-"Your (character trait) is so _____...your future husband will be a lucky guy."  (We can all tell when people are sincere!) 

Marriage isn't the end all of end alls.  It's a wonderful thing to desire and to prepare for and that is something I try to do.  But, I also pray for contentment, because I know the Lord is sovereign and His plans are what are best for my life...even more so than anything I could conjure up or settle for.  Each stage of life offers it's challenges, so let's strive to be an encouragement to the single girl ("You're such a blessing"), the young mom ("You're doing a great job with your children...keep up the good work"), or the empty-nester ("The way you have raised your children has been such an inspiration to me").  It will mean a lot.  


  1. You have a God-honoring attitude and that is far more to be desired than being in a relationship. If the Lord wills it, he will bring along the right young man at just the right time for you. Our eldest son didn't marry until he was almost 30 and his bride 28. Yet they are a wonderful match and it was certainly worth their wait.
    Continue trusting the Lord and he will provide what is best for you.
    Happy New Year.



    1. Thank you for your encouragement! <3 Happy New Year!



I love to hear your thoughts! Your comment will be approved, shortly!