Your Worth

It's imperative that we learn our worth is in Christ and defy the norm to feel second rate, if we aren't in a relationship. There, I said it. When I was young, I saw a generation taught these principles, but few to none actually believed it.  How do I know?  They didn't live it...it was just something they heard on Sunday and Wednesday nights.  They wore their "True Love Waits" rings, while going from guy to guy and from heartbreak to heartbreak.  (And I'm not saying that even if you know who you are in Christ, there won't be some heartbreak...we live in a sinful world, but let's continue on...)  This principle wasn't taught in the formidable years of childhood, so it wasn't rooted deep in their soul.  As they grew up, it was easier to get caught up in the societal norms, because they didn't own this truth.  It wasn't theirs...it was superficial and not internal.  They looked for fulfillment in others and didn't learn to look at themselves through Christ's eye.  However, it's never too late to plant that seed and start living the truth.

I wish I could say that it only happened 10+ years ago and the general "Christian" culture has learned the lesson and we've instilled this in the next generation, but sadly, it's rare.  It saddens me to see so many young people trying to be "good enough," so they can update their social media bio to "taken."  It's an endless cycle and it's frustrating to watch. I truly believe the Lord puts the desire for marriage, relationships, and companionship in our hearts and it's a wonderful thing. However, most 15 year olds aren't going to get married next week. We must learn it's okay to be single and not date just for the sake of being in a relationship (whether we are 10, 15, or 22).  (If the Lord has brought your spouse, at a young age, that's great, but if not, we mustn't play the field just to find fulfillment.) It's okay to wait for the person the Lord has for us and pursue a relationship in a purposeful way.  And, we're not second rate, if we do. Our value isn't tied up in our relationship status.  Our value is solely in Christ.  If the Lord can use us best single, right now, then we can be content where He has us. If He can use us best in a relationship or married, then we can be content where He has us. If marriage is from the Lord, then shouldn't we consider singleness to be from Him, as well?  It's a beautiful and refreshing thing to see someone believe this.  Is it always easy?  No. But, hard is good and good is hard. I would be lying if I said it wasn't a process and that I have arrived.  I haven't, but I know this...we have a choice and it's worth it. We owe it to the next generation to live this truth.

So, how do we do that?  It starts in the home, at a young age.  Parents must intentionally teach their children who they are in Christ and teach the principles of God's Word that we are sinners, but when we get saved, we become a child of the King.  Our identity is found in Christ.  Then, we who are single must strive to live out our singleness in a Christ honoring way and show that it's okay to desire marriage, but it's also a blessing to wait on the Lord.  Before you think I'm an anti-romantic, I love a good Hallmark movie as much as the next person and I look forward to the day the Lord might bring someone my way, but I'm learning to rebut the world's lie that to be fulfilled, I have to be in a relationship.  Finally, those who are married must demonstrate what godly marriage looks like and that it's worth the wait, the joys, and the hardships and it's worth fighting for.  Ultimately, we must learn to look at each season of our lives as where God wants us, for that moment. Marriage and singleness are both ways to serve the Lord.  If we learn and believe that truth, then we no longer look to others for fulfillment.  Instead, we look to Him.