Your Worth

It's imperative that we learn our worth is in Christ and defy the norm to feel second rate, if we aren't in a relationship. There, I said it. When I was young, I saw a generation taught these principles, but few to none actually believed it.  How do I know?  They didn't live it...it was just something they heard on Sunday and Wednesday nights.  They wore their "True Love Waits" rings, while going from guy to guy and from heartbreak to heartbreak.  (And I'm not saying that even if you know who you are in Christ, there won't be some heartbreak...we live in a sinful world, but let's continue on...)  This principle wasn't taught in the formidable years of childhood, so it wasn't rooted deep in their soul.  As they grew up, it was easier to get caught up in the societal norms, because they didn't own this truth.  It wasn't theirs...it was superficial and not internal.  They looked for fulfillment in others and didn't learn to look at themselves through Christ's eye.  However, it's never too late to plant that seed and start living the truth.

I wish I could say that it only happened 10+ years ago and the general "Christian" culture has learned the lesson and we've instilled this in the next generation, but sadly, it's rare.  It saddens me to see so many young people trying to be "good enough," so they can update their social media bio to "taken."  It's an endless cycle and it's frustrating to watch. I truly believe the Lord puts the desire for marriage, relationships, and companionship in our hearts and it's a wonderful thing. However, most 15 year olds aren't going to get married next week. We must learn it's okay to be single and not date just for the sake of being in a relationship (whether we are 10, 15, or 22).  (If the Lord has brought your spouse, at a young age, that's great, but if not, we mustn't play the field just to find fulfillment.) It's okay to wait for the person the Lord has for us and pursue a relationship in a purposeful way.  And, we're not second rate, if we do. Our value isn't tied up in our relationship status.  Our value is solely in Christ.  If the Lord can use us best single, right now, then we can be content where He has us. If He can use us best in a relationship or married, then we can be content where He has us. If marriage is from the Lord, then shouldn't we consider singleness to be from Him, as well?  It's a beautiful and refreshing thing to see someone believe this.  Is it always easy?  No. But, hard is good and good is hard. I would be lying if I said it wasn't a process and that I have arrived.  I haven't, but I know this...we have a choice and it's worth it. We owe it to the next generation to live this truth.

So, how do we do that?  It starts in the home, at a young age.  Parents must intentionally teach their children who they are in Christ and teach the principles of God's Word that we are sinners, but when we get saved, we become a child of the King.  Our identity is found in Christ.  Then, we who are single must strive to live out our singleness in a Christ honoring way and show that it's okay to desire marriage, but it's also a blessing to wait on the Lord.  Before you think I'm an anti-romantic, I love a good Hallmark movie as much as the next person and I look forward to the day the Lord might bring someone my way, but I'm learning to rebut the world's lie that to be fulfilled, I have to be in a relationship.  Finally, those who are married must demonstrate what godly marriage looks like and that it's worth the wait, the joys, and the hardships and it's worth fighting for.  Ultimately, we must learn to look at each season of our lives as where God wants us, for that moment. Marriage and singleness are both ways to serve the Lord.  If we learn and believe that truth, then we no longer look to others for fulfillment.  Instead, we look to Him.

"It's a Shame a Girl Like You..."

It's November, which means it's the beginning of get-togethers, gatherings, and meals with friends and family, you only see once a year.  For my single (I dislike that term, but we'll roll with it) girlfriends, we know what that means.  It's time for the yearly, inevitable question, "So, do you have a boyfriend, yet?"  This cues the response we gave them, last year (I, personally, choose to wait on the Lord and I believe His timing is perfect...this is usually met with a blank stare or a few rapid blinks). "Well, it's such a shame that a girl like you isn't married or at least has a boyfriend," they say.  These questions and responses come from well-meaning friends and family, but they imply that our achievement or position in life is tied to our relationship status and I have to agree, but they are talking about the wrong relationship.  :)  We live in a culture where 7 year olds are praised for having girlfriends or boyfriends and a society that evaluates you by your Facebook relationship status, so it's odd to most when teens and 20-somethings choose to wait on the Lord and not date for recreation.  I'm a huge proponent of Godly marriages and relationships and I look forward to the day that this will come to fruition, in my life (believe me, I love a good, God-honoring relationship story...ahhhh), but the ultimate relationship status is our one with the Lord (even after we are married).  A season of singleness isn't a time to be looked down upon, pitied or to be noted as a less-than moment. On the contrary, it can be a beautiful time that brings glory to our Father (just like all seasons of life).  So, instead of focusing on your single friends' relationship standing, this holiday season, I have a few suggestions on comments you can make that will offer encouragement...

Compliment them on an area in which you see them serving the Lord... 

-"It's such a blessing to watch you serve the Lord in..." 

-"Your dedication to honoring the Lord, in every aspect of your life, is beautiful to see."  

Be interested in what they are doing, here and now...

-"How's life?"

-"What are you up to?"

If you see something in their life, that will indeed bless their future families, then by all means, offer them a compliment in a genuine and positive way.  

-"I know ______ will bless your future husband and family, some day."  

-"Your (character trait) is so _____...your future husband will be a lucky guy."  (We can all tell when people are sincere!) 

Marriage isn't the end all of end alls.  It's a wonderful thing to desire and to prepare for and that is something I try to do.  But, I also pray for contentment, because I know the Lord is sovereign and His plans are what are best for my life...even more so than anything I could conjure up or settle for.  Each stage of life offers it's challenges, so let's strive to be an encouragement to the single girl ("You're such a blessing"), the young mom ("You're doing a great job with your children...keep up the good work"), or the empty-nester ("The way you have raised your children has been such an inspiration to me").  It will mean a lot.  

Finding Joy in the Routine

Hi, my name is Taylor.  That piece of information you already know, but I feel I need to reintroduce myself, after such a long break.  Over the past few months, I've been in the process of simplifying my business endeavors and growing them, at the same time.  I felt led to solely focus on one passion (which can be a bit of a challenge for this "like to do a little bit of everything" girl), but it has been the greatest blessing.  It's always nice when things fall into place, after months of transition and growth.

So, what's new?  Not much, lately, except a haircut.  :)  Which leads me to my thought of the day...am I okay with the that?  I am.  Don't get me wrong, we should always be striving for growth in our walks with the Lord and personal development, but I'm talking life in the general sense.  We often get caught up in the thrill of exciting events and waiting for the next big thing, but those times aren't the norm.  Most days consist of waking up to my alarm, if my cat doesn't wake me up, first (I can usually feel her eyes watching me and begging me to pat her on the head...umm, good morning), getting ready for the day, collaborating with Momma on meals and trying a new gluten free recipe, running my home business, researching health and wellness, corresponding with customers and friends, working on projects (I usually have at least one thing I'm working on...currently, it is the Pillow Case Challenge), helping around the house, and the usual "life" stuff.  Pretty normal, eh?  I'm sure your days consist of much of the same (laundry, meals/meal planning, cleaning, family time, errands, etc.).  It's easy to get discontent with the normal, but it's really an opportunity to find joy.  I'm finding joy in this season, because the normal doesn't always stay "normal."  Are we faithful in the mundane?  Are we joyful in the most basic tasks?  Are we patient, if we are in a waiting stage?  I haven't arrived in this area, but I'm closer than I was, several years ago.  It has taken time and the Lord's patient work, in my heart.  There are times I wish the next stage of life would come, but I know with it will come excitement, but also routines that will need to be carried out with joy.  So, I'm using this time to pray for a joyful heart and make the little things special (fun shopping trips with Mom and Leah, grocery shopping days equal iced coffee runs, and cleaning days are a good excuse to pull out Michael Buble's Christmas album...yes, I know it's August.)  :)

What's the Lord asking of you, in your season?  Is He asking you to find contentment in the everyday or is He teaching you to trust Him, in a new and exciting season?  Each season brings its own set of challenges and opportunities to grow.

Until next time...

Take My Dreams

Growing up, we all have a mental image of how we think our lives will turn out.  It starts with a young desire to save all the kitties of the world, so you're going to be a veterinarian.  Then, your five year old whim evolves into a nine year old desire to be a famous ballerina.  (Or, was that yesterday's goal?)  A few years later, a more mature desire takes hold of being a wife and mom, getting a degree, serving on the mission field, or something of the sort, in the future.  Living in the country, on a farm, as you get older and grandchildren would be nice, if you think that far in advance.  You know the pattern!  We call them dreams or aspirations and they set the course for which we follow.  But, what happens when those dreams don't play out and the road swerves from our projected destination?  What happens when it's time for something to happen according to our schedule (whether it's getting that scholarship from your dream college, getting married, or it's time for a bigger house)?  This subject has been on my heart, lately, and I have been reminded of the following verses.

"There are many devices in a man's heart; nevertheless the counsel of the LORD, that shall stand." 
Proverbs 19:21

"Go to now, ye that say, To day or to morrow we will go into such a city, and continue there a year, and buy and sell, and get gain: Whereas ye know not what shall be on the morrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away. For that ye ought to say, If the Lord will, we shall live, and do this, or that." 
James 4:13-14

I think foremost, we should be reminded that although this is our life, it's not really ours.  If we profess to be Christ-followers, then our lives are His to use.  (I have a tendency to get caught up in little ol' me and my ambitions.)  Now, this doesn't mean we can't dream or have desires, but ultimately He is the one Who leads and charts out the map of life.  Sometimes, He even gives us the desires of our hearts (Psalm 37:4)!  Knowing that He is ultimately in control, helps keep discontentment at bay, although it's not always an easy battle.  Keeping this our focus enables us to live life according to His time-table and not our own.  We are never overdue for things, as His timing is perfect and best.  This is something I know in my head and have to consistently pray through, so my actions follow suit. "If the Lord will..."  Too, we oftentimes believe if a dream is Godly or even Biblical, then it's guaranteed to happen.  "Children are a reward from the Lord and I desire a big family, so I know my quiver will be full."  Or, "I use this talent for the Lord's glory, so I know I'll be this or do that."  However, we often forget that even though it might be a worthy desire, sometimes the Lord has something even better in store or He is using this time to prepare or work in us.    

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD.  For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts."  
Isaiah 55:8-9

I'm reminded of how many times I have longed for something to happen, but it didn't.  Looking back, I can thank Him for sparing me from my wants, because He had a better plan.  I can take comfort in the fact that He sees the big picture and even though my view might be hazy or short, I can trust Him.  So, what do we do with our dreams?  We offer them to the Lord to do with what He wills and allow Him to become bigger than our dreams.  For then, He will fill those crooks and crannies that make up our longings and He, Himself, will be enough (no matter the outcome)!

"Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven." Matthew 6:10